The Stuttering Bard of York

Right, right,” the mayor said, waddling to the front of the room. “Everyone find a seat. Thank you for coming to this vital and very important meeting. Some of you might not realize how important this meeting is, but, I assure you, it is desperately important.”

“What are we meeting for, anyhow?” Buddle said. The bum was already moving around the tavern, looking for any untended drink he might swipe. “I forgets already.”

“The goblins,” Cendric said.

“Helping Ben,” the mayor said quickly. “As citizens of York it is our duty to help our dear Ben.”

“Yes,” Androbobel added. “Remember, dear citizens, we all must raise our children, and all our children must be raised to understand their social duty, and to recognize that we all must live and sacrifice ourselves for the greater social good! Together, we can make the world a better place!”

“And deal with the goblins,” Cendric added in his deep voice.

“Maybe. That later,” the mayor said. He was watching Androbobel. “That's for a different meeting. First we deal with the easier matter of business-helping Ben.”

“It's true,” Drasel added. “He has all sorts of things he needs help with, now. He has his horse, and the farm and-”

“Yes, yes.” The mayor waved his wife to silence. “To begin this meeting properly we must begin at the beginning. Silence, everyone! Quiet down, this meeting must come to order. Ben, would you tell us how this all began?”

“Um.” He looked around at the packed tavern, and all the eyes staring at him. “The goblins came.”

“Where were you, Ben?” The mayor leaned forward. “Did you see the goblins coming? Were they ugly and evil? How many were there? Were they heavily armed?”

“I-I don't know. I was going-I mean coming-I at that time I was in the plow-I mean in the field working the plow.”

“Then how do you know it was goblins?” The mayor peered at him suspiciously. “How do you know your mother didn't trip carrying a bucket of ashes from the fire and a single spark floated up and landed on the roof of your house, causing the fire?”

“I saw dead goblins,” Ben said, and wondered how his Da had burned down the house.

“Ah,” the mayor nodded vigorously and the crowd gasped. “Yes, yes. Most certainly goblins, then. Er . . . how many?”

“Three dead,” Ben said. Life had become a dream, he thought. He couldn't really be standing in the tavern of York, answering the mayor's questions about goblins. Any minute he would wake and find that life was normal and unchanged.

Except, he didn't.

“Well, that's good, I suppose.” The mayor gave a small laugh and rubbed at the bald spot atop his head. “But I meant how many alive.”

“Alive?”

“On the rampage. Still loose. A threat.”

“I don't know.” Ben looked around at all the faces staring at him. He wanted to get out. He wanted to go home. But there was no home. “The goblins were gone when I arrived. The house was burning down.”

“Terrible,” the professor murmured.

“Ah. Ah, I see.” The mayor pulled his pipe out of his pocket and began stuffing it with tobacco. “So, you've no idea if these goblins are heavily armed. You don't know if there are thousands of them, armed with all sorts of weapons of terror, ready to spring out on this defenseless town and slaughter us all?”

Everyone leaned across their tables in breathless waiting.

“Um,” Ben said.

“Tell us! Tell us!” Drasel screeched. “Are we doomed?”

“I don't think so.” Ben felt his stuttering coming on again. “I-I-I did-didn't see any on the way to York. They must have left. Maybe.”

A sigh went round the room, like a great gust of wind. The mayor visibly brightened.

“Well, I guess those creatures looted enough. Good. That means we can get down to the business at hand.”

“Which is what?” Buddle said. He had filched a mug of beer and was now sitting on the floor near the hearth. “Since the goblins are gone, aren't we done? Seems like this is an occasion for celebration at our survival. An occasion that would warrant free drinks on the house.”

“Yes, I mean, no, not at the moment,” the mayor said. He was enjoying the present attention too much. “We still haven't dealt with Ben.”

“That's right.” Josline stood, hauling her scrawny husband up with her. “He could be cursed.”

The babble of other voices stopped.

“What?” Cendric said, voicing what Ben was thinking, but couldn't manage to say.

“He could be marked. Me and Bib see it.” Josline gave her husband a shake, then pointed a fat quivering finger at Ben. “Why of all the farms in Tarn did the goblins go after the Transom farm? There are probably hundreds of farms in this great kingdom and the goblins choose the Transom farm. Says something, doesn't it? And Ben has always been . . . strange. The goblins, they come back for those who escape.”

“It could be a bad omen.” The mayor chewed importantly on the stem of his pipe.

“What nonsense,” Cendric's voice boomed out.

“Indeed,” Androbobel said. “Intelligent men never fear such foolishness. Advanced civilization can match this threat.”

“Quite right,” the mayor said quickly. “Superstition. The lot of the uneducated. Still, on the chance, it would be prudent if we-”

“And even if it were true, we'd defend Ben,” Cendric added.

“Anyone is welcome in York so long as they don't bring trouble,” the mayor muttered around his pipe stem. “But we must be prudent. It's the job of elected officials.”

“He'll bring the goblins down on us, sure as my daughter is beautiful!” Josline's voice went shrill.

There was a babble of agreement, mothers reaching for their children and fathers looking stern and concerned. The mayor chewed all the harder on his pipe stem, and Cendric thought hard, his sooty brow furrowed.

Ben took a deep breath and opened his mouth. “I-” he said, and then had to correct himself. “We could-” Then he knew that wasn't right so he started over. “We should do-” He almost didn't get the last word out, but with a great effort he managed to shout “SOMETHING!”

That made everyone silent.

“About what?” Cendric finally asked.

“The goblins,” Ben managed to stutter. “I was-they told-I was sent to bring help.”

“Er-yes,” the mayer said, having promptly bit off the stem of the pipe when he heard the murmur of approval from the crowd.

“Exactly.” The professor drew himself up to his full narrow height, throwing out his chest. “It is on such occasions as these that we see the wonder and brilliance of the great social contract.”

“What kind?” asked the mayor, rubbing his nose.

“It's the way of the great social contract. Ben's mother and dear . . . dear . . . father are in trouble. We help him with his farm and family, and he helps us with the goblins.”

“I've heard the goblin raiding has been growing worse.” Cendric scratched at his head, giving the professor an uncertain glance. “But how is Ben going to help with that?”

“Much worse,” Josline said. “Who knows when they'll decide to attack York? Something must be done!”

“How true!” Androbobel exclaimed. “We must appeal to our common nature! We must look upward and never falter! In unity there is victory, in division, defeat!” The professor finished by pounding on the table. Several people clapped in approval.

“Er . . . Yes.” The mayor cleared his throat. “I was thinking exactly the same thing. In fact, I've been thinking the same thing for months now. And I know the right person for this job.”

“Who?” Buddle hiccuped, setting down his mug. “It's ain't me, so it must be Ben. Or else the mayor.”

“Ben! Exactly!” The mayor shouted. “Ben can solve this problem. He is the perfect man for the job.”

“The wonders of common intelligence,” Androbobel extolled. “When we put our heads together we can all think the same thoughts!”

Cendric scratched at his head. “How? What can Ben do?”

The crowd rumbled its agreement, many people shaking their heads.

“Ben couldn't find his way out of town.”

“Ben couldn't even ask anyone for help if he saw them.”

“He'd go the the goblins by mistake and bring them to York.”

“No, no,” the mayor said. “Ben can . . . he can . . . Ben must take this matter to the king!”

“Exactly!” Drasel stood. “Ben must go to the king and bring back a great army to save us!”

“Done?” Ben stuttered, when really what he meant to say was, “What, me? I can't! Send someone else!”

“To the king,” a few people cried out. “Complain about what the goblins have done. Tell him to fix this problem.”

“The king?” he finally managed to stutter. “Why-how would the king listen to  me? I couldn't speak to a king.”

“Young man, you are the one to speak to the king.” Androbobel drew near, resting a hand on Ben's shoulder. “You are the one touched by this tragedy. Only you have the right for this great duty! Only you have the honor! In fact, you must. It is part of the great social contract. We take care of your dear parents and you go tell the king what has happened.”

The mayor nodded sagely. “It's what you must do, Ben. To the king. Bring an army from the king to deliver us from this terrible goblin threat!”

“The king must save us!” The call went round the room, followed by, “Ben must go to the king! Send Ben to the king!”

“But-what-I . . . my parents,” Ben said.

“Your parents?” The mayor looked at him blankly.

“I was supposed to come and get people,” Ben managed. “So we can destroy the goblins.”

The professor quickly intervened. “Exactly. The young man has said it. You must hurry to the king because once the wrath of the goblins is aroused, we won't be able to hold out for long. You must bring your eye-witness account to the king so he will be moved by tender emotions and come to our aid. You must fetch the army of the king, Ben. Just like your parents told you. And never fear. Let not a concern touch your empty and innocent mind. We shall defend them with our very lives. In the hands of the masses they are as safe as if a kitten were defending them. Soon as you leave to bring help from the king we will muster the entire village, lay careful plans, and . . . do what must be done!”

The mayor paled slightly at the mention of wrath of the goblins, but then hurriedly bobbed his head saying, “Right, right. Exactly as the professor says. I don't know where we'd be without the intelligentsia.”

“But . . .” Ben didn't know what to say, so he finally said, “don't forget to bring lunch when you go. Ma and Da will be hungry.”

Then he stood. He wasn't sure which was more terrifying-hunting goblins or going to the king. A king would ask him questions and make him speak in front of many people, and he would surely stutter worse than ever. Goblins wouldn't ask any questions, and wouldn't make him speak. Of course, goblins would either eat him, or make him a slave working in some foul mine up in the Shiddow Mountains. It wasn't a good choice between the two, but he couldn't think of a good answer, or anything else to do. It all didn't seem right, but his Ma had said to do exactly as the mayor had said, and an army had something to do with it. Though she hadn't mentioned the king, it didn't seem like a bad idea now that he thought about it. Especially if he could get back before dark.

“Oh, go!” Drasel snapped “What else can you do? Or do you expect to march out and fight the goblins yourself?”

Cendric scratched his head again. “This is getting all confusing. I thought we were going to help Ben.”

“Right. Didn't you hear the professor? We're going to help Ben.” The mayor hitched his pants up his fat stomach. “And I'm sure the professor will let you lead the charge when we go, Cendric. But we must first deal with Ben. His plight has so moved my tender heart that we're going to send him on his way, proper like. Now see here, people. We've got to decide what's to be done about Ben and his problem, and stuff. Gather round because this is important.”

The townspeople crowded forward.

“So,” the mayor said. “What've you got?”

“Got?” Ben tried to edge back for the pack of bodies.

“What did the Goblins leave? Much anything of value?”

“Me,” Ben said.

“No.” Drasel shook her head. “Important things.”

“Well, there is Ned.” Ben thought for a moment. “There is the ax I brought with me. The plow is still back in the field . . . I guess the goblins left most everything they didn't eat. Only the house was lost and everything in it.”

“Your mother's best silverware?” Drasel said.

“Gone.”

Her face fell.

“How are we going to help Ben?” Cendric asked.

“Simple.” The mayor looked around, taking in the entire crowd. “Haven't you heard all the professor's talk about community? He's been telling me all about community service. We're all going to take care of Ben's stuff while he's gone. We must show the rest of Tarn that York takes care of its own, even Stuttering Ben.”

“That's right,” everyone said, quite pleased with themselves.

The mayor stood silent a moment while Androbobel whispered in his ear.

“See,” the mayor finally said. “This is how we're going to do it. I happen to know Cal is kind enough to look after your plow for you without any charge. He'll even use it while your gone to make sure it stays in working condition.”

“That's right,” Cal said. “Good thinking, mayor.”

“Just remember how good I think next time we're electing,” the mayor said. “Now your ax, Ben . . . I'm sure old Jorg the carpenter will make sure it stays clean and sharp while you're gone. Then there is the farm . . .” The mayor trailed off as Androbobel whispered to him again. “ . . . I think I can watch over that for you, Ben. It'll be hard,” the mayor sighed. “But I'll make sure it doesn't go to waste.”

“Er . . . thanks,” Ben said. He still didn't understand what all the talk was about.

“Then there is your horse,” the mayor said.

“Ned goes with me.” Ben looked up. “I'm not leaving him behind. He would get lonely.”

“Lonely?” The mayor rested a hand on his shoulder. “Ben, it's a horse. Why would a horse get lonely?”

Ben thought about saying that he would get lonely without Ned to talk to and keep him company. But he didn't say it. He didn't say anything.

“Ben, Ben, Ben. You've got to think of what's best. What is really best for Ned? Do you really think he'll want to travel? His hooves will get sore. Think about what is best for Ned. He should stay.”

“But . . .”

“Do you want Ned to be unhappy?”

“No.” Ben looked glumly at his boots. “But nobody needs to take care of anything. My Da . . .”

“Of course,” Androbobel said smoothly. “Soon as we rescue your dear father he will have everything returned. This is all just a temporary redistribution of the wealth.”

“But . . . Ned. I'm not-”

“I'll take him.” Danwise the miller stepped forward. “I'll take him for three dozen eggs.”

 “I'm not selling Ned!” Ben folded his arms across his chest.

“It isn't really a sale,” the professor added. “Think of it as a trade. You'll need supplies while on your journey, and what do you have to get supplies with? Nothing. But if you have three dozen eggs instead of Ned you can use them to purchase anything you need. Once you come back from your journey, you can trade to get your horse back.”

“But . . .” Ben looked around, feeling trapped. It didn't make sense, but everyone seemed to agree it was best and Ma had told him to do as he was told.

“Look here,” Danwise said impatiently, “I just sold a batch of flour for three dozen eggs. That ought to cover your horse.”

“Three dozen eggs?” Cendric rose to his feet. “Why, that horse ought to be worth three grown hogs.”

“It's not like you think, Cendric.” Androbobel turned to the massive smith. “It's an investment for Ben. Why, Danwise is downright foolish to be making such a good offer. Those three dozen eggs could hatch and Ben will have three dozen chickens. Why, if he kept going he could have as many eggs and chickens as he wanted. In no time at all he'll have more chickens and eggs than any man could count. And all of that just for one horse! Why, it's such a good deal I think I might just tell Danwise to take it back.”

Cendric blinked then returned to his seat, grumbling, “I still think hogs are better. They got more meat on them.”

“It just goes to show,” Androbobel said, “that if ever you wonder, it was always the egg that came first.”

“Well . . . Ned don't like traveling, that's true,” Ben said slowly. “Ma said I should do as I'm told, and so long as I get Ned back . . . then I guess it's okay.”

“Glad that's all settled.” The mayor slapped Ben heartily on the back. “You'll be wanting to get on the road soon, I expect.”

“Especially in case the goblins are still after you,” Josline said. “Watch your back and don't sleep in any dark shadows while on your journey. If you see them coming for you, scream real loud.”

“It still don't make sense,” Ben finally said. “I'd have thought-”

“But you don't think,” Androbobel interjected, “so let me explain. It's for the good of the community. Boy, always remember that everything should be done for the good of the community. Anytime you don't understand why you're doing something, just remember that it is for the good of the community! You need to think in terms of sacrifice, the betterment of humanity, and unselfish giving.”

“Like the good professor says,” the mayor said. “It's for the best. Trust me. A person needs to trust his elected officials.”

“Well, Ma did say . . . but Da-you're going to go and-”

“As soon as we're ready!”

“Okay . . . but I-I don't know where to go,” Ben finally said, and he was so miserable he forgot that everyone was staring at him, so he didn't even stutter.

“Good, good,” the mayor said. “Ben is going!”

“Stuttering Ben is going to the king,” said Drasel his wife. “Hear that, people?”

“Just follow the bigger roads and you'll get there.” The mayor hitched up his pants again. “It's in the opposite direction of the Shiddow Mountains, so I've heard.”

“Will I get there soon? I don't want to leave my Ma and Da-”

“Er . . .” The mayor rubbed at his head. “I can't say I exactly know, but I'm certain-”

“You'll not get there today,” Androbobel said, patting Ben's arm. “But a man of your intelligence should have no trouble. If you hurry it won't take long at all, in the big scheme of things.”

“But . . . But . . . Aren't we going to help him on his way?” Cendric said. “It's a journey, and he's sure to get hungry and-”

“That's true!” There was a chorus of agreement to that.

“Thinking the same thing!” the mayor shouted. “I always say we should drown away every thought in feasting and drinking!”

“A feast for the departure of Ben!” Jak the tavern keeper shouted. Everyone cheered in agreement to that, the drunk bums loudest.

Next thing Ben realized he was on a stool with a plate of food shoved in front of his face.

“That's it, boy,” the mayor said, heartily. “Eat up good for the journey!”

“Um.” Looking at the plate of food reminded Ben of his Da. “When you go to fight the goblins with my Da . . . the professor . . . er . . . shouldn't come. Ma said-well-”

“Right, right.” The mayor looked away quickly, and cleared his throat. “We won't need Androbobel when we go out there.”

“And something for the road,” Elsie the maid placed a cloth wrapped bundle beside him.

There was much talking, and back-slapping. His back was slapped so many times, and so many different pieces of advice were shouted at him, that Ben couldn't keep any of it straight. Don't get turned around, they said. Walk in a straight line. Don't talk. Speak when spoken too. Avoid those in authority, but make sure he delivered his message to the king. They would all help him if-that is to say when-he came back.

Head all awhirl, Ben staggered as much as walked out of the tavern. He knew he was going somewhere, but which direction and where he wasn't quite sure. It was away from home, he was certain, because home was destroyed.

He started off down the road, the cloth bundle containing food and his three dozen eggs clutched in hand.

“Whoa, wait up there young Ben.”

The words broke through the fog that surrounded Ben's thoughts. He turned to see Cendric coming out from his smithy. The man was carrying a heavy long handled hammer.

“A little hasty, this leaving.”

“I . . . It's all been a little fast. The goblins . . . I . . .” He looked at Cendric, then toward the tavern, where the villagers of York were still clustered, watching him. “But there isn't much point in staying, is there?”

“I suppose.” Cendric looked down, his voice gruff. “I don't know. Seems a sorry thing all around. The king ought to do something about the goblins, mind you, but I'm just not sure if you're the one to tell him.”

“Well, I was the one who saw, like the professor said. I suppose that means I'm the one who has to tell. Anyhow, Ma said to do whatever the mayor told me. So . . . you tell Ma and Da I'm all right and I'll be back tomorrow.”

“Ben . . . I don't know. I've never been to the capital, but it seems last I heard it'd take you a little longer than a day to make it there. Mind you, I'm sure you can get there, but . . .”

Cendric was thoughtful a moment, then shook his head. “Anyhow, you need something in case the goblins find you on the road.” The blacksmith pressed the hammer into Ben's hand. “Now take care of yourself, hear?” Cendric squeezed his shoulder. “Some of that advice back there was good, and some not so. I'm sure you know which is which. Don't speak unless you must. It'll cause less trouble. Understand?”

Ben nodded dumbly.

“Good. You'll do just fine. You're a good strong boy. Honest. Smart. Just . . . just remember the world out there isn't quite like it is around here in York. Strange people out there, Ben. Understand?”

“Maybe. I . . .” He tried to find his tongue so he could ask the question he desperately wanted answered. At last he managed, “But Master Cendric, how will I know where to go? How will I know when I'm close? I can't walk on straight forever, can I?”

“Well.” Cendric reached up with a thick finger and scratched at his chin through the frayed tangle of his beard. “Seems every time you come to a village you should ask them where to find the capital of Tarn. That's the city where the king lives. Once you reach a village where someone knows of the place you'll be sure you're getting close. Once you get to the city, ask people where the king lives. I've always heard it was in some castle, and I expect it should be pretty easy to find. The city can't be too big. After you come to this castle ask someone real polite like to see the king. Ah . . . and try to talk normal. That should do it, I think.”

“I'll try, Master Cendric.”

“That you will. You show them.”

“I will. I hope.”

“Your Ma and Da will be proud.”

Feeling small and confused, Ben turned away and started down the narrow dusty road. As he walked past the last building of York he looked ahead and realized he was going where he had never gone before.

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